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| My heart was pounding as I waited for her response...
Wait, I'm getting ahead of myself. You probably will want to know the whole story. The summer of 2003 I decided to go on the Orient Express Project (a summer missions trip to East Asia). Historically, this project has had a 2 to 1 girl to guy ratio. Of course my goal in going on this trip was to serve and experience God. I saw the percentages as just a bonus. Ironically, this was the only year the ratio was flipped - 9 guys and 5 girls.
During the first day of our orientation, I caught sight of this cute Chinese girl... I tried not to stare. As we were divided into our teams, I noticed that her and I were placed on the same university campus AND the same church. Looking back now, that was God's providence. Over the next six weeks I discovered her to be a joyful and God-centered individual. I remember thinking to myself, "This girl has a lot of qualities I would want my future wife to have."
Nothing happened then - she lived in Toronto, and I was in Vancouver. And honestly, I was considering another girl back in Vancouver, which didn't work out. Anyways, over the next three years, this girl from Toronto and I kept in touch on and off. Whenever I heard from her, I could see that she was pursuing God with all of her heart.
As I traveled in Asia earlier this year, the Lord provided a clear direction for my life. As I finished my travels, I knew the next season of life involved pursuing marriage. But in my "plans", I had given myself the rest of this year to settle down. 2007 would be the year that I would start actively pursuing a girl.
God obviously thought my plans were too slow, so He sped them up. Anyways, to shorten the story, the girl and I talked about where our relationship was going and prayed about it together and individually. As I persistently and seriously asked the Lord about this decision, He gave me a clear answer. Knowing that I wanted to ask the girl (who was patiently waiting for me) to move forward into courtship with me, I talked to her father first, who gave us his permission and blessing.
The next evening I called her over Skype. I emailed her a video of a song I had sung for her. As she started watching it, my heart started pounding as I waited for a response. Then Skype cut us off. I paused a moment to let my heartbeat subside, then called her again. Then I read out the letter I had written to her (I was far too nervous to be able to say out my thoughts from memory). The letter ended in a question, "Will you join me in the adventure of courtship?"
"Yes" was her answer!
With a sigh of relief, a big smile appeared on my face and my heart dropped back down from my throat (where it was temporarily) to my chest (where it belonged). We talked about the many unknowns of our futures and this next season of life, but rested in God's unfailing provision and faithfulness.
I had read an interesting article on relationships a few months ago. "You should marry the godliest, most fruitful, most spiritually beautiful woman you can convince to have you." Olive is this woman. Our courtship will determine whether we are to be married.
"For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."
~Psalm 57:10~ | | |
| de-light [di-lahyt] - noun - a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment or satisfaction; joy; rapture
There are a lot of things that I enjoy, that I delight in. Spending time with treasured friends. A sunny summer day spent on the beach. Snowboarding. Watching a good movie. Getting a child to laugh. Reading an inspiring book. Making a positive difference in someone's life. Getting a big hug. Laughing at a funny joke. Eating ribs. Listening to good music. These things give me much joy and enrich my life.
This morning I was thinking about how God delights in us as His children. And also how we find delight in God. I decided to do a word search on "delight" in the Bible. This is what I discover...
God delights in you - "He will take great DELIGHT in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17)
God delights in our well-being - "The Lord be exalted, who DELIGHTS in the well-being of his servant" (Psalm 35:27)
God delights when we tell the truth - "The Lord detests lying lips, but He DELIGHTS in men who are truthful" (Psalm 12:22)
God delights in saving us - "He rescued me because he DELIGHTED in me" (Psalm 18:19)
God delights in our obedience - "Does the Lord DELIGHT in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the Lord?" (1 Samuel 15:22)
It is hard to comprehend how I can give God pleasure. This is my ability and choice to give God delight, to make Him happy, to give Him joy. I can make a difference in God's life! What an honour that is. At the same time I can break God’s heart with my actions. It's easy to forget how I can impact God's life.
We delight in God's presence - "I was filled with DELIGHT day after day, rejoicing always in his presence" (Proverbs 8:20)
We delight in God's works - "Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who DELIGHT in them" (Psalm 111:2)
We delight in God's words - "His DELIGHT is in the law of the Lord" (Psalm 1:2)
We delight in God's rescue - "My mouth boasts over my enemies, for I DELIGHT in your deliverance" (1 Samuel 2:1)
We delight in honouring God - "O Lord, let your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of your servants who DELIGHT in revering your name" (Nehimiah 1:11)
I think of all the things that I take delight in - and all those things are great. But the amazing promise of God is that He is better than life. Whatever joy and pleasure I can from this world is chump change compared to the delight I receive from God. The joy He gives far outweighs the joy the entire world can offer. Isn't that absolutely mind-boggling? What great news! If only everyone in the world could know this truth.
This is the beauty of a relationship with God.
We're better together.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart"
~Psalm 37:4~ | | |
| My siblings are out tonight, so I have the apartment all to myself. It's quite peaceful. I put on some Jack Johnson and continue reading "Searching for God knows what" by Donald Miller.
The chapter is about how we as human beings have an obsession with comparisons. He writes, "The thing that defines human personalities is that they are constantly comparing themselves to one another. Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems an oddity and, for that matter, a waste."
Let's look at reality television, being our world's newest form of entertainment, as an example. Survivor is a competition of wit and determination. American Idol is made to discover the next American pop star. Project Runway tests the skills of fashion designers. People race around the globe to win The Amazing Race. There's Fear Factor, America's Next Model, the Bachelor, etc. And that's not including all the sports: the World Cup, the Olympics, hockey, basketball, the world poker tour, etc. And then there's the award shows: the Oscars, the Grammys, the Nobel Peace Prize… There's always a winner and a string of losers. The competitions kick out the "worst" participant or team one at a time, always ranking the contestants from best to worst.
High school is a great example of this. There existed an unspoken hierarchy. Everyone was "ranked" based on a combination of his/her athleticism, looks, intelligence, humour, musicality, finances, and dating status. I was part of the nerdy group (I absolutely loved math and would always answer the bonus questions for extra credit). I was this skinny guy with glasses and an awkward right-to-left comb over haircut.
Everyone at the bottom of this hierarchy has a miserable time. Kids in high school are mean. They are always looking for someone to pick-on, to make fun-of, and to step on. I think part of the reason is that when you push someone else down, you feel superior. And everyone wants to feel superior, because they want to be valued. Fortunately for me, I was semi-sporty and semi-musical with average looks. And although I wasn't at the top of the hierarchy, I managed to stay out of the bottom. I vividly remember constantly making fun of a classmate from South Asia. He has a funny accent and could not spell. Although I was not the ring leader, I was a part of his public ridicule. This lasted for years and years, until he finally left the school. The sad thing was that I went to a Christian high school.
As I think about those times, I am heart-broken & ashamed at the way I treated him. I can't even imagine the emotional scars he must have now. How could I be so cruel? If I have a chance to see him again, I would want to give him a big hug and a sincere apology for being such a jerk in high school. I pray God will grant me this opportunity.
My best friend Sam wasn't the smartest or the richest or very musical in high school. But everyone liked him because Sam was so funny. He had this great laugh – the kind of laugh that when you hear, you want to laugh too. And people liked to laugh, so they liked to hear Sam's laugh.
Sam had a heart for this South Asian classmate and disregarded the high school "hierarchy" to reach out and be his friend. At the time, I thought this was a foolish move – it was social suicide to associate with people at the bottom of the hierarchy. But Sam did it anyways. Now when I look back, I see that God had given Sam a big heart, a compassionate and kind heart – and Sam had the courage to extend his love & friendship. That is the kind of person I want to become. I want to love people without judging or ranking them. I want to get rid of this comparing disease that I have, and be able to accept people for who they are. I want to stop comparing myself to others. This is an impossible change to make. Good thing I have God – He is the one that gives me a new heart & renewed mind. And He is the one that gives me ultimate value.
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?" Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."
~John 21:20-22~ | | |
| I used to hate hiking. My dad always loved to hike, and he would try to take us with him. I would always fight hard not to go. I had many excuses - I needed to do homework, I had to study just in case there was a pop quiz (you never know when those would happen), I had to practise piano, I had extreme allergic reactions to moquito bites & there were tons of mosquitos on hiking trails, I had to catch up on watching my HK TV dramas... the list goes on. But I got dragged along anyways. In my opinion, there was no purpose to hiking. We start at one point, hike a big circle, and end up at the very same place. Most of the scenery is trees, rocks, and dirt - how boring. There was no challenge, no climbing or jumping - just plain uphill walking. And after we're finished, I'm all tired and I didn't achieve anything. What a waste of time and energy.
But things change.
In the past year, I've slowly grown to enjoy hiking. It's not that hiking somehow morphed into a super-enjoyable activity. It's me that has changed.
Climbing up a mountain tires me out. It takes so much effort to keep going when I'm out of breath. When my body shouts at me, saying it needs to stop and take a rest (this happens about every 10 seconds), it takes determination to continue. When I do stop to rest and decide to continue, my body whispers, "Just another minute, please... you need it." There's a certain strength that is needed to make my unhappy body start climbing again. Mind over body.
Hiking reminds me of how Paul says that living life for God is like running a race. Not a short sprint, but more like a marathon. There is a goal, a prize that we run to win. And it is no easy race. It takes all we have to persevere and keep going.
There will be times in my life when I will be so tired - tired of my marriage, tired of my family, of my church, of my career, even of God. I will want to quit. I will want to stop. I will want to give up. Everything in my body and my life will shout out that I can't go on.
At those times it takes perseverance and determination to continue. If I want to win the race that I am running, I must go on. I cannot quit. I cannot give up. When I hike, I am training myself in perseverance. I am preparing myself to run the race. I am building skills need to win the prize. I remind myself that this is what it feels like to be so tired, and this is what it feels like to keep going. This is what it feels like not to give up, but keep going... even when the end is not in sight.
That is why I love hiking.
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."
~1 Corinthians 9:24-25~ | | |
| Well, a family I definitely love is my own. But let me tell you about another family I love.
After four months in Asia, two weeks in Toronto, I went to Calgary to finish off my traveling this year. People ask me what I was doing in Calgary. I spent almost two weeks there and I didn't really do that much. I was at the Calgary Stampede (the city's pride and joy), walked around Kensington, ate ice-cream, but some days I'll just hang out.
I stayed with a family that I truly love. Rod and Joline Olson were my "dorm parents" while I was at UBC. They have two cute daughters. Anya is seven. Siri is five and a half (she always adds the half when telling people her age). There is something about their family that draws me to them, over and over again. And I guess I went to Calgary to live with the Olson family, trying to figure out what exactly was so different about them.
Rod is a great person to discuss life with. Let's see, what did we talk about? Whether or not following Jesus is a selfish decision. Ideals and the traditional roles of marriage. Globalization and the big, bad corporations that aren't always bad. Raising kids and discipline. There's always good substance in what he says, like he's taken time to think and ponder these ideas.
Joline just finished her first year of teaching grade five kids, and she loves it. I love watching her interact with Anya and Siri. She has a keen understanding of who her girls are, their personalities, and how to love them.
When Anya first said my name back at UBC, she would call me "Dim". It's not the most flattering nickname but I forgive her because she was barely two years old at the time. Anya is a competitor. I set up a course for her to race through in the playground. She always will try to beat her previous time. Anya also helps me finish my Sudoku puzzles. I love how she will laugh at all the silly ideas I share with her, like I'm the funniest guy in the world.
Siri started calling me "Timmy" the second day I stayed at their place. Usually I dislike being called that cuz it sounds too childish. But there's something endearing about how Siri says it. She is probably one of three people that I will allow to call me by that name. I love it when she comes and leans up beside me to watch me figure out a Sudoku puzzle, or when she whispers in my ear asking me if I want to leave the dinner table to finish watching David & Goliath with her. And I love how she is absolutely amazed at my card tricks.
And for ten days, I have shared life with this family. We wake up and have breakfast. Then maybe I'll read, or go to the park with the girls, or chat with Rod or Joline, or watch a video with the girls. We'll have lunch. And maybe I'll take a nap. Or have a block fight with the girls, or build a fort. Or we'd go shop at Ikea or Safeway. We went to the Calgary zoo one day, and to the Science Museum another time (which is just one big playground for the kids). I meet the friends or family that comes by to visit.
After the girls wash up for bed, the family spends time together. I joined them one evening during the Olson family bedtime routine. First one of the parents will read the girls a story. Then every person will answer two questions. The first is "what part of your day was the most life-giving?" The second, "what part of your day was the most life-draining?" As Rod explains the routine to me afterwards, he quotes Saint Ireneaus: "The glory of God is man fully alive". These questions are part of training the girls to be sensitive to life, to the things or events or people that make them come alive. Joline explained that she especially loved the second question because it allows the girls to see their parents' weak & imperfect moments. Then the parents/girls pair up for a prayer time. Anya and Siri decide who to pray for every evening (Rod says this is the start to the girls learning to discern & hear from the Holy Spirit). I found this absolutely beautiful, and so meaningful.
I love how they treat me as a part of the family. I love how Rod & Joline will voice their appreciation when I wash the dishes or cook. And I love how much fun they have together. One time Siri dropped her piece of pizza on the floor. But no one got upset or flipped out. She wasn't scolded or yelled at for being clumsy. Everyone laughed. What a relief! And one time Rod was taking a sip of water in the van, and Joline jammed on the brakes so the water spilled all over Rod. What fun! Spending time with them makes me want to have a family of my own even more than I already do.
The Olson family is a family that loves Jesus and follows Him. They try to apply their experience of Jesus into everyday life, into their actions and words and thoughts. Yet they manage to do it in a down-to-earth, real, authentic, non-judgmental, and non-threatening way (in a recent Maclean's poll, 31% of Canadians indicated that they were intimidated by born-again Christians. 18% were intimidated by Muslims). And they manage to love the people they encounter. They don't seem to be in a rush to get anywhere, just enjoying the here and now, the present moment that Jesus gave them. Living with them was beautiful and refreshing and inspiring for me.
When I read Psalm 16:3, I am reminded of how I love being with this family.
"As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight." (NIV)
"And these God-chosen lives all around - what splendid friends they make!" (the Message)
"The godly people in the land are my true heroes! I take pleasure in them!" (NLT)
~Psalm 16:3~ | | |
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